A country boy’s daddy caught him maturbating behind the barn. He told him, “Son, I think it’s time for you to ‘have’ a woman.”
He asked, “What do you mean, Pa?”
Pa said, “You know, like a stallion ‘has’ a mare, like a bull ‘has’ a heifer.”
“Oh, that.”, he said, “But I don’t know how to go about it, Pa.”
Pa said, “Well there’s women in town that will show you all about it for $5.” The youg man said, “Really? How do I find one?”
Pa said, “OK, I’ll give you $5, you ride the mule to town, look for a red light, go to the door and tell the lady you need a woman and show your $5 bill.”
So the young man heads to town, but what Pa didn’t know was they had installed a traffic light in town. When the boy saw the red traffic light he thought he was in the right place.
He walked up to the door of a beauty parlor, said he needed a woman and showed his $5 bill. Well, business was a little slow and the gal decided she could use the money and asked him in.
Of course the young man didn’t last but about two seconds on his first piece and the gal felt bad about taking his $5 for two seconds worth of pussy so she gave him a manicure to boot.
A few weeks later the young man was back in town on a errand and the gal saw him. She hollered out, “Yoohoo.” and waved. The young man started running in the other direction.
She later ran into him at the feed store and asked, “Why did you run awhile ago? Don’t you remember me?”
He said, “Hell yes I remember you. You’re the ol’ gal that gave me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn’t scratch them!”
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